Tag Archives: therapy
As a graduate of the United States Military Academy at West Point; and proud member of the Long Gray Line, the memory is etched with passing in review on The Plain for General of the Army Douglas MacArthur; watching him during football games at Michie Stadium; and hearing him deliver his farewell address to The Corps of Cadets in Thayer Hall on May 12, 1962. On this historic day, he remarked,
They teach you to be proud and unbending in honest failure, but humble and gentle in success; not to substitute words for actions, nor to seek the path of comfort, but to face the stress and spur of difficulty and challenge; to learn to stand up in the storm but to have compassion for those who fail; to master yourself before you seek to master others; to have a heart that is clean, a goal that is high; to learn to laugh yet never forget how to weep; to reach into the future yet never neglect the past; to be serious yet never to take yourself too seriously; to be modest so that you will remember the simplicity of true greatness, the open mind of true wisdom, the meekness of true strength.
And more of his wisdom unfolded in the context of Army Black Knights football,
Upon the fields of friendly strife are sown the seeds that at other times and other places bear the fruits of victory.
How can golf be therapy? Golf is a playground of friendly physical and mental challenges-strife-where reflective and felt messages await the perceptive golfer on every tee, fairway and green while in nature’s office. As golfer’s our only requirement is to embrace our chosen sport as both a game and a practice. Just as we need to prepare our club and body mechanics, we need to prepare our mental skills: deliberately going to the breath, quieting the mind, connecting with the target and trusting the subconscious to deliver a club through the golf ball to the awaiting target.
My experience is that when I play golf, it offers, as the situation dictates, the opportunity to either deliberately choose to play the game or deliberately focus on the reflections of the moment: what is going on here? There are infinite messages available; and the necessity is to be ready to receive them. My personal learnings have uncovered anger, fear, irritation, delusion, jealousy, envy, joy, happiness, ah-ha moments and countless other reflections. The amazing experience is that the self-awareness, reactions and priceless response seeds, uncovered on the golf course, have historically shown-up, and will continue to show-up, in other areas of my life, too.
The suggestion is that golf can be therapy if one chooses to have it be a game and a practice where we can learn skills that help us accept and master ourselves and model the way as a person, in relationships and when helping others. This undertaking is a fascinating and rewarding challenge and can remind us “to be modest so that (we) will remember the simplicity of true greatness, the open mind of true wisdom, (and) the meekness of true strength.” If you are up for the golf as therapy challenge, the next time you are standing on the first tee, take the time to ask the question: What is going on here? Just stand and listen to what the “inner roommate” has to offer today. If your “inner roommate” is anything like mine, it will have a great deal to say!
Why write Sitting in the Flames?
After retirement in 1993, bowling felt like a really neat activity for a new senior citizen. Three leagues per week, coupled with 40-50 games of practice per week, moved the average to 208. When the average peaked, burn-out and boredom arrived; and bowling was no longer fun. This triggered the search to discover a key to re-spark an interest in bowling and produce a higher bowling average. Competitive bowling was soon to fade from the journey; and sports literature became the menu.
Some of the literature included: Body Mind Mastery: Creating Success in Sport and Life by Dan Millman; Sacred Hoops: Spiritual Lessons of a Hardwood Warrior by Phil Jackson; The Warrior Within: The philosophies of Bruce Lee to better understand the world around you and achieve a rewarding life by John Little; and The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living by His holiness the Dalai Lama and Howard C. Cutler, M.D.
What did the reading uncover? My athletic experiences were absent a link between the body and the mind. It appeared that the literature was offering that connected breathing might be the bridge between the physical and mental-emotional bodies, with an added benefit of improved performance in sport and perhaps even life. In one of the many books associated with connected breathing, Naropa Institute was mentioned as an academic institution where the student could learn to meditate. Little did I realize that Naropa Institute, now Naropa University, was located in Boulder, Colorado, a 30 minute commute from home in Arvada, Colorado. Starting in 2001, I was to spend three years in the contemplative environment at Naropa University studying meditation and the five wisdom traditions. This three years re-directed and may have saved my life; and added meditation practice to my daily ritual.
Sitting in the Flames was sparked during a Spiritual Models of Social Action class at Naropa University. Under the leadership of Dr. Judith Simmer-Brown, we were studying Martin Luther King, Jr., Sulak Sivaraska, a Thai social activist, Gandhi and Tich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Buddhist monk. One day Dr. Simmer-Brown brought a book to class, placed it on her desk, pointed to the book, looked at me and said, “John, you need to read this book.” The title of the book was War is a Force that Gives Us Meaning by Chris Hedges, at the time a journalist for the “New York Times” and a professor at Princeton University. This book, complimented by the study and inspiration of Thich Nhat Hanh and his spiritual partner Chan Kong, gave rise to re-visiting, through study, reflection papers and sitting meditation, my two years of combat during the Vietnam War. These reflection papers became quite therapeutic and became the genesis of Sitting in the Flames when it occurred one day that perhaps sharing my experiences with finding freedom from the residual pangs of emotional chaos associated with combat, may help others who suffer from similar trauma associated with the reality of war.